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Backoncemore

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Posts: 3
Reply with quote  #1 
So how does everyone start things round here??

I always find the first message so dam awkward,, do you do the pleasantries first both knowing that neither of your actually care if either parties are 'doing well' or 'had a good new year'

What you really want to say inside is 'tell me everything about yourself so I can see if you fit my criteria, suitable to help me with donations.' Haha
Just thought I'd get it out there
mrmrd

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Reply with quote  #2 
I can see to a point what you are saying.

However it is the beginning of knowing someone

If someone said they had a horrible new year and the family never visited over the Christmas and new year period, then you have to ask yourself why

If the person was surrounded by a loving family it gives an indication as to the temperament, something to build upon deciding if someone is suitable

Likewise if a donor is not interested in how you are then they are not really interested into what environment a baby could be born into, which to say the least is not being responsible.

Hello, how are you is a good place to start. 
Backoncemore

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Reply with quote  #3 
Oh no I completely understand that and totally agree but at the end of the day both parties know when it's all said and done the female is only after one thing haha.
Normally when you talk to people there isn't really a motive behind it but with this there is.
It's just such a strange position to be in.
mrmrd

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Reply with quote  #4 
Yes I agree with you that it may feel strange, not only to the recipient but also the donor
And yet when genuine people get together it is surprising how everything suddenly seems perfectly natural.
adonor

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Reply with quote  #5 
I always think a donor should wait for the recipient to send the first email. It just doesn't feel right for a man to go touting himself by sending blanket emails to in boxes.

As a donor I look for sincerity in the first approach. I prefer helping nice genuine people so I form first impressions based on grammar, tone, and politeness.

It's always best to know someone's first name, the region they are from etc. Some people offer a very sincere explanation as to why they want a donor, and that allows a very fair response with empathy.

In all honesty I find myself wanting to help educated women, mid 20's or older who have lived life a bit and know they really want a child and who can show me a child will be born into a very loving family.

I try to ask sensible questions such as do you have the support of family and friends with the journey you want to embark on? I also ask what do you want of the donor? Do you want the donor to stay in touch? Do you want a friend during pregnancy? We should also discuss support or otherwise, birth certificate, child contact and whether the donor will help with siblings.

It is also right that the donor says a lot about himself. Health, education, traits, family medical history so the woman can form judgements too. No donor should lie. A fair question deserves a fair answer. The donor should be honest about whether he is married or not.

At some point you will discuss how to go about things. Ai or ni? No man should push a woman to do something she isn't comfortable with.

The man also has to show the character that when he starts helping a woman that he has the time commitment to be consistent. No woman should be messed around or dropped after a couple of tries.l

I guess the woman has to decide whether or not she wants a volume promiscuous sperm donor or one who is a bit 'rarer' in fathering children?

Anyway as for me, I prefer helping a woman who wants a man to be interested in the pregnancy and the child. I offer the prospect of being a good friend to a woman who wants a natural conception and a friend to be in the background during pregnancy and onwards.

I have had two donor children only with the same woman, and it has been pretty special. We got to know one another over coffee and a few emails before. Yes we were nervous before making love, but we both acknowledged that beforehand. We both agreed we would talk to one another when in bed, the lovemaking would be slow and progressive and cuddly and at any stage either of us could say no. We both felt pretty special on the day. That was 3 years ago and my friend now has two children and we remain friends. I have seen the children but am not 'daddy'. I haven't helped anyone else since, but am ready to do so again if It feels right to do so.

Anyway ni is not for everyone, and as a man you have to respect that.

Hope I answere the question you pondered backoncemore?
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